Clearer

Just spoke to Rachel on the line awhile ago. you see, things aren't exactly going well for us. we're facing problems of her feeling that we're seeing each other too much that resulted us having more unhappy moments. personally i do not feel that way. however, sometimes people think that they feel a certain way about things but they didn't take a step back to see if it's really what they think. sometimes people use feel to make decisions rather than think to make decisions. and more often than not, it's not the right decision.

so we chatted on the phone and came to a decision that what we're doing now, having space and me going home, is what's best for us. on top of that, we've decided not to have sex before we get married. but that's going to come slowly, we're progressing day by day at a comfortable pace. so we're planning to have sex for once a wk first. then we slowly reduce it. i think that'll be easier to cope and healthier too.

During EAP the last 2 days, my energy was kinda low. i'm not sure why too. probably it's me giving too much attention at the beginning and i'm not able to follow through. on sunday night, i talked to Rachel about it. she shared with me that pacing is very important. if one would to chiong so much at the start, one'll definitely lose steam if he's not conditioned to it.

i'm very grateful what Rachel has done for me and to me. without her i'll still be clueless and leading the life every normal person is leading. thank you for making me your choice lovely.

I love you, my goddess!