Exams.. Gone..

Just finished my second paper today. Was really a very bad paper I must say. Given the amount of effort I put into the preparation work, i roughly knew that i was going to do badly for physics. it has never been my strong subject and i really can't grasp the concepts. thoughts of changing course have crossed my mind.. but then again.. what good will it do? i might end up saying that the other course doesn't suit me. what do i want to do? it's really confusing.

the next week will be even more intense for me. it's 3 subjects in a row. material science is full of facts. sounds and life sciences are like astronomy to me. so i guess.. tt says it all la. wad to do.. i choose not to be prepared and now i'm suffering the effects of being lazy and playful. worse thing of all.. i slacked today away. tmr's gonna be another slack day for me. soccer in the morning and bdae celebration for daren tmr. so i guess it's gonna be another day of play. work's piling up boy..

zoe just told me i can teach mambo lessons. i taught the pageant people how to dance and thought it was quite a nice routine. very standard moves and i'm sure there're people who wants to find out how to do the mambo. it doesnt only have to be at the clubs. so i'll take a look into that =) thanks zoe for the kind advice. anw zoe wants me to mention that she actually adviced me to study.

It's a rainy Tuesday morning

Recently things between me and Rachel's been quite sour. I guess it's the period where we get to know each other's bad points and stuff. Last night I didn't call her and she was disappointed. I really didn't know that she was hoping that I'll call. I was tired, I slept. Sometimes I'm not even sure whether it's me changing or she's changing. Things just aren't right.

I attended Roof's Property Agent course yesterday. I thought it was an interesting experience for me. Learning about Real Estate and stuff allows me to open out my options. Thing is I must take action, and I will. Gary was sharing with us about the commission schemes and gave us tips on what we can do to start as an agent. I am going to read my notes now. =) I am value-adding to other people's lives by acting as a leverage for them to get a better price for their property.

Property Agent

Pa just signed me up for a property agent course. it stretches from 7-9pm every mon, wed, thurs and fri from 2nd june till 17th june. i'm going to be a successful property agent! with the knowledge i gathered from EAP, i'm sure i can do very well as an agent. i will/must persevere. i know that it's not going to be easy to be a property agent but i will succeed and be a millionaire by 30!

Rachel, i know that this is going to be a tough time for us. because i'll have very little time to spend with you and enjoy like how we did. but i'm doing this for our future. i don't wanna wait anymore. i've gotta do something and i'll make it happen. =) i'm sure you'll understand my love. i love you!

work's getting more and more boring. i've been here ever since nov and it's going to be 7 months that i'm working here. i'm amazed by my patience and tolerance. there're time when i really feel like quitting but the thought of not having any income scares me. i guess tt's why i perservere.

Wednesday

It's mambo night tonight.. but i'm not going again. it's a habit that i'm cultivating right now. to keep away from clubbing as much as possible. there're lots of benefits doing that.

1. save money
2. have enough slp
3. you won't be exposed to loud music that can potentially hurt your hearing
4. you won't have girls looking at u as tho u're going to touch them anytime soon.

well these are just some of the benefit. there's hell lot more of them. anw Daren's back from UK. not bad la quite a good timing because i'm going to end work soon and i'll be more free to enjoy myself and not worry about whether i go work the next day or not.

things between me and rachel are progressing. now i'm going home more and having more time for my family and myself. i think it's something both me and rachel want - to have some time for ourselves - and i'm glad to be with her and have her love at this very moment. i really am grateful and happy about that. she understands my need to rest and recuperate from our late slping nights and i love her for being so understanding. thank you my love! =) i'm going to meet her later. can't wait for that to happen! i'm coming home soon my love! I LOVE YOU!

Good Start!

What a good way to start my day. today when i was taking bus to work, the traffic was good and the seats were readily available for me. such comfort and luxury in an sbs is quite hard to come by especially in the early morning.

when i reached office, chan helped me ask the technicians for the work order for the parts they drew. so thankful that actually he's clearing it for me. in a way i think he's clearing it for himself too. because he knows that when me and mei chan leaves, he'll be left with all the work himself. so he'd better clear it when i still can help him charge out the stuff. haha.

Max's 21st Birthday

Went to KAP Macs for Max's 21st birthday bash. we had loads of children fun over there. most of them weren't very on about it.. but i did. i didn't care i just wanted to have fun and in turn let others have fun too.

what happen was this lady called herself auntie. and when she said she's 2 yrs younger than max.. i was damn stunned. omg.. can't she be more adaptable? haha oh well.. probably it's part of her job and script la. we played the 'chicky dance' and 'chu chu train' hahaha it was ridiculously fun. then we had our meal.

it really was a birthday for kids and i'm sure max and the rest had a good laugh and fun. best wishes to u max!

EAP.. and life..

It's been a week since i've posted. these days have been very busy. with EAP meetings and my own life. i'm actually enjoying myself doing so many things and learning at the same time.



i'm in charge of my team's business proposal plan. but i'm kinda stuck at where i am because i've yet to find out how to handle e rest of e stuff like the business concept and i'm just generally kinda lost la. Jim has taught me a lot that night, but i don't think i've absorbed as much as he wanted me to. -as i'm typing this i'm dozing off on my seat- today is really a good day to sleep. the cooling weather and cosy office that i'm in just makes me wanna zzzz at this very moment.

Recently thing between me and Rachel hasn't been excellent. We're still doing good, just that Rachel seems very confused and doesn't know what she wants. I can't 101% tell you what i want in the future but i can 100% tell you that i wanna be with her right now. i guess ultimately, it's the financial stability issue that's troubling her. i don't blame her for feeling that way. she's 26 and how much longer can she wait? EAP and another seminar in end june.. is that going to bring me success? i really really really want to make it. so what am i waiting for? what's stopping me? hai.. i've really got to figure that out.

Today damn sway. i took the bus to work at the normal time. when i reach my destination, the shuttle bus just left right in front of me. i was like 'wth'. i went to the main road and try to stop it, it went by already. worse thing is, i didn't know there's another trip at 815. i called pa to come fetch me already. hai.. just not a really good way to start a day. but so far it's been good, and i'll be seeing my babe soon. i miss you lovely!

Stay strong!

yesterday wasn't exactly a very good day. in the morning, ma called and asked why didn't i go home yesterday. i answered her 'so?' then she hung up. I'm not sure also.. am i being too rude? someone please enlighten me. the problem is that i can't stand talking to her. she's so negative and always trying to pull my enthusiasm away. the way she ask me questions always piss me off. always giving that black face. i wanna try to make things better but i just can't. i don't know why also. i think both of us gotta do something about it. she's expecting too much from me and i'm expecting too much from her. it's not healthy at all man.



work was ok.. nothing special happened here.. just having more stuff to do in a shorter time. i like this.. time actually passes faster this way.



when i went for a run after work, i realised that the road leading to chinese gardens is now opened! i went for a jog there and it's really beautiful. gotta go some day to enjoy and relax. home is not bad now.. clearing up stuff and cleaning up are the few things i like to do and marcus and sharon is going to build their nest at home like how me and rachel built ours. so i started moving my stuff also.. but i don't think i'll complete it anytime soon la too busy.. it' s good to let marvin do something about it also. but then again.. as a lazy boy.. i don't think it'll affect him la. sometimes i wish i just had my own lil room.

9-May-08

Rainy day... again..

Couldn't wake up this morning.. again.. i think i've a slight problem with my slping habits. if i slp early, i can't wake up in the morning. if i slp late then i can wake up. weird isn't it.

had my EAP group meeting yesterday. phew it was a lot of information coming in at the same time. i had difficulties catching their conversation. i guess one thing i can improve on is to take notes on what they're talking about. especially Jim. i think he's e most experienced and outspoken one. i've to learn from him.. take it in if it's bad.. correct it if it's wrong. Rachel talked to me on the phone last night. she said i shouldn't focus on my weakness only but to see how can i improve them. actually i already had them on my mind. it's just that at that point of time.. i really needed someone to help me across the difficult path. i concluded that it's only excuses i'm giving myself. i've to be strong for things to work out between us.

i called Rachel this afternoon. we chat and she was down this time. i supported her and let her know how beautiful she is. she's my goddess, queen, sweetheart, love.. i love her!

Clearer

Just spoke to Rachel on the line awhile ago. you see, things aren't exactly going well for us. we're facing problems of her feeling that we're seeing each other too much that resulted us having more unhappy moments. personally i do not feel that way. however, sometimes people think that they feel a certain way about things but they didn't take a step back to see if it's really what they think. sometimes people use feel to make decisions rather than think to make decisions. and more often than not, it's not the right decision.

so we chatted on the phone and came to a decision that what we're doing now, having space and me going home, is what's best for us. on top of that, we've decided not to have sex before we get married. but that's going to come slowly, we're progressing day by day at a comfortable pace. so we're planning to have sex for once a wk first. then we slowly reduce it. i think that'll be easier to cope and healthier too.

During EAP the last 2 days, my energy was kinda low. i'm not sure why too. probably it's me giving too much attention at the beginning and i'm not able to follow through. on sunday night, i talked to Rachel about it. she shared with me that pacing is very important. if one would to chiong so much at the start, one'll definitely lose steam if he's not conditioned to it.

i'm very grateful what Rachel has done for me and to me. without her i'll still be clueless and leading the life every normal person is leading. thank you for making me your choice lovely.

I love you, my goddess!

Back from Changi Airport

just came back from changi airport and some dim sum place. the food was excellent especially the mee sua thingy.

this morning i went to NTU for my medical check up. everything went smoothly and i'm proud that i woke up earlier to go for my check up because i was the first few and didn't have to wait very long.

after my examination, i went to clementi to take a bus back. teng sms-ed and say she wanted to meet for lunch. we had some miscom that she had problem with han wei but actually it was my intepretion that was wrong.. partly because her response was bad also la. so anw.. it was me talking about A and her talking about B.

in the afternoon, Rachel and i went to balestier to have bak kut teh. it wasn't that fantastic.. sad to say.. but it's e company tt was great =) then we headed off to ikea to buy our blinds. altogether, all the furniture cost 137 bucks. i was stunned initially.. but after that i realised the 2 blinds already coz 100 bucks already. ohh and in the end, we had semla. she didn't eat too much coz she's scared to try new food. but i enjoyed it. hahah =P

i fell aslp when we came back cause we found out that they didn't have a drill nor sand paper to put up the curtain. woke up around 7 plus and left for bugis to meet uncle soon lai and auntie kim to go pick up shu yan from the airport. we had dim sum and came back home.

currently.. i'm blogging.. think i'm falling sick. omg.. better drink more water. tmr's EAP! i can't wait for that to happen. hopefully i'll recover by tonight. plsssss...

Not really a good day

well.. today wasn't really good. didn't go for NAC ( though i didn't mind ) and Rachel changing her plan last minute. i guess it was probably Adeline who made things difficult for her.. tt's why i don't wanna assume anything. though i must admit that i'm not really happy about the whole thing.

Pass few days have been great. spending time with her is definitely enjoyable. her emotions were all over the place and i was there listening to her feelings and comfort her if she needed. i like doing all those for her because i feel she appreciates it and it makes me happy =)

I'm just in a very unstable mood to write now..

Eventful night =)

well work today was boring as usual.. i really don't wanna be going to work everyday next time. better start to do wad i can first. at least a start is better than no start at all.

anw after work i went to Rachel's. We slacked and went to dinner at Thomson Plaza. AFter that we to walk around to look for our ring. well.. most of them didn't look too impressive.. so in the end.. we didn't get any. our next destination was cheeky chocolates. the cake was wonderful and the place was well decorated. the chocolates, most importantly, were nice too.

we headed home to have a game of mah jong with her parents. ohhh uncle's quite the player.. haha on the first game, he won 5 folds already. gosh.

it's 12:51am now. tmr we still have to wake up early. hahha i'm off to wash up now.

everyday's an amazing day for me. becase you're with me everyday. I love you Rachel!

Swimming at Bishan

Went to Bishan swimming complex for a swim last night. ooo the weather was cold and it was drizzling. but me and Rachel still went ahead with our plan to swim. other than the faulty goggles, everything else was great =) she even challenged me to freestyle. i must admit i had a hard time catching up with her... she's fast. hahah

we went for dinner and head back home for a walk. talked about EAP and other business stuff. i can see us chatting like that 80 yrs on. i love every moment i spend with you babe.

when we reached home, we did our own stuff and had sex. it was amazing.. but she cried after that. she said things like calling each other husband and wife isn't appropriate because if it doesnt happen.. it'll hurt. i agree.. oh well.. i guess it's just one of those days. hopefully she's feeling much better.

this morning i kissed her goodbye and went for work.. the bus came damn late la.. luckily i alighted at clementi to take a train to jurong east. if not i'll definitely be late.

i'm gonna see Rachel later =) Can't wait! MUACK!

Dinner with my family

Rachel came over my place for dinner last night. Well probably it was quite a bad idea la. I can tell that Rach was very uncomfortable at the dinner. What made it worse was my grandma kept irritating me. Ask me questions like what's her dialect? I mean what link does it have. I don't give a shit whether it matters to her or not, I just ignored her.

Rach says my mom gives her a funny look. Although I didn't notice, but Ma sure do these kinda things one. I'm really frustrated at my parents. First they give problems with Jia Xin, now Rach also. You know, they probably didn't be assholes intentionally but naturally, they are. The things they say, the way they act. I hate it. I shall share more about it with Rachel tonight. Thing is, other than not meeting up with my parents, I can't do anything to make the situation better. Actually tt's not a bad idea too la. I don't want my relationship to be ruined by them again.

Anyway i'll be heading to Bishan for a swim tonight. Finally I can go and swim. I've been thinking about it for some time already but the weather always don't favour me. Tonight, the weather will be great and just nice for a swim =)

Singing At Ming's

Had a blast of a time last night at Ming's. I was actually searching for cakes with Rachel, in the end we ended up inside Ming's singing karaoke.


Nice shirts, NICER voices =)

When we entered, no one else was singing. Everyone was just chatting and drinking. Then me and Rach got the ball rolling and everyone else followed. =) Everyone was very supportive of each other and clapped for each other's efforts. There's this guy that sings like Bon Jovi. Though he can reach the high notes, I'm not sure if he's harming his vocal cords like this. I used to try to do that and I can feel the pain in doing it. Maybe I should've asked him how he felt. Then there're these 2 cool uncles sitting beside us telling us they met in primary school and ended up in the same company. What a small world. I wonder how many people actually have such luck to meet up with such an old friend. Anyway they treated us to drinks and I'm very grateful. Thanks!

After singing, we headed back home. I don't know why I was so clumsy, while having sex, I accidentily pulled Rach's earrings. Must have hurt a lot. I'm sorry babe. Hope it's much better now.

Today Rach's going to do her new hair with uncle wilfred. She'll definitely look damn good. Haha new season's hairstyle leh.. Can't wait to see her tonight!

I Love You Rach!

Distracted

the whole day i've been trying to read my fortune magazine. it always ends up being distracted by someone who delivers stuff or wants to draw stores. i'm trying my best to finish it asap because i currently have 2 more issues waiting for me at home. damn it.. so much for 'being consistent' but nevertheless! i'll finish it =)

met up with Rachel last night to go IKEA. we're looking for curtains to block her working area from the slping area. it's a great idea. we're looking thru the cool designs and nearly wanted to buy something which wasn't really of her choice. she was hungry and tired.. i wish i could just fry some of my potatoes for her to eat. yummy =) good thing is.. we didnt buy anything that night. we knew that if we made a decision, it wouldn't be very ideal. that means IKEA, we're gonna visit u again. i like going IKEA with Rachel. she's very excited about furniture and thoughts of us having our own place floods my mind. i am trying my best to come to work everyday. partly it's because i don't wanna miss her for 2 weeks.. but the main reason is because, i need this money. dun get me wrong. it's not that Rachel needs/wants me to pay for her. i just don't want to be a bum and miss work all the time. definitely, it's not healthy.

anw just to go off course awhile, this guy called me and spoke to me in hokkien. ( a language i'm not proficient in ) and i spoke it back to him. hahha feel so proud of myself. damn it martin.. u're good.

i'm going to end work soon. tonight will be dinner with Rachel and her parents. i feel so lucky that auntie and uncle both talks to me. last night auntie talked to me about uncle's concerns and i think i handled it well. i know what i'm doing and it's wad's best for me. i won't do something detrimental to myself. definitely. then she talked to me about her work.. which i felt a bit like i was talking to Rach because both of them likes sharing and me, i like listening and sharing. and tt's something i'm proud of. because not many ppl listens to others. well done martin =)

after that i helped Rach set up her facebook stuff.. it's kinda simple la.. she just don't have enough exposure to it. and i'm glad to be of help to her too. in a way.. i see this as helping her realise her dreams and mine too of course. the way i see it.. it's a good chance for me to do and learn from Rach. like wad i mentioned to her on the coach back to s'pore.. she's a good influence. i think auntie knows it.. but for uncle, it might take some time.. because of their old mindset. it's not their fault.. they're programmed this way.

I just hung up the phone with Rach. i told her how much i miss her and how much i can't wait to see her, hug and snuggle up with her tonight. i love her. and i've taken steps to ensure that this wouldn't just be a game for kids.. but a game for adults who knows what they're doing.

Rach, I Love you.

Back From KL!

Just came back from KL this morning.

It was an amazing experience. I had a whole load of time by myself, walking around the streets and shopping for my necessities. Basically I walked around Bukit Bintang Plaza, Lot 10, Sungei Wang and KLCC.


On the coach to KL!

On the first night, I headed to Chinatown with Rachel. We tried to walk there after our dinner at Jalan Alor but didn't manage to 'find our way' at first -ok lemme explain.. 'find our way' came in ' ' because we were headed towards a direction that is correct but not a safe way.. we changed our route in the end- And in the end, we decided that taking a cab would be the best choice. I guess it's just both of us being tired and lazy. =) When we reached Chinatown and started our shopping. The stall owners were swarming us, especially my sizzling hot lover, and telling us how cheap their stuff are. We know they're cheap, but they're never going to be cheap enough for us.. I was a bit worried for Rachel because her eyes were all focused on the goods there and she wasn't looking at who's in front and all. If i wasn't there, she'll probably bang into the poles or something. =) I'm just kidding my goddess. Anw hope she can be more careful in future.



KL Twin towers.. damn nice Chilling outside KLCC


If any of you guys wanna get cheap shades, don't get from Chinatown(KL). I would suggest you guys get from KL Sentral. I got my shades from Chinatown at 35RM and i saw the shades selling at 10RM at KL Sentral. The best part is, the shades at KL Sentral looked so much nicer and of course, cheaper.


A&W floats makes us high.

During this trip, I've learnt quite a lot. Let me share them with you.

Firstly, when you want to bargain, you've got to be ruthless. If you're soft-hearted (like ME) you're bound to get 'chopped'. So for example, if you're willing to pay 20RM for the goods and the peddler tells you the goods cost 50RM, you've got to tell him your 'best price' would be 5RM. He would most probably take his price and add to your 'best price' and divide it by 2. I'm not totally sure how all the peddlers do it but you can try to follow the guideline I mentioned. The summary of this paragraph, you've got to be ruthless and know how to quote your 'best price'. This lesson is kindly taught by Rachel. I love you my Queen =)

Secondly, I've learnt that it's very important to clarify matters as soon as I make an ambiguous statement ( the other lesson i could probably learn is to not make any ambiguous statements ). Rachel was very affected by the thing my parents said. I only shared with Rachel the things my parents said but I didn't let her know how they actually feel about it. She broke down because she felt that my parents and hers thinks she's a bad influence to me and her sister. I reassured her about her importance in her sister's success and that she's not a bad influence at all. I realised later that I could've avoided all these by making things clearer in the beginning.

Thirdly, to all the guys out there, please do not add oil to fire when your girfriend is already very troubled. If you want to say something, please for goodness sake, no matter how tired you are, let it go through your brains before you say something. What happened was Rachel and I forgot to take the file from the concierge at Corus. Both of us were responsible for this but I know that Rachel took it hard on herself because she feels that she wasn't responsible enough to make sure her things were there. ( Truth is, I have to take responsibility too because I collected the bags and didn't notice anything amiss ) I'm sorry about it babe. So we're on the bus and she's trying her best to get her file back when all of a sudden, smart-ass Martin made an impact statement

' If I were you, I'd F#$% care the file '

How powerful is that guys? Haha. Obviously I wasn't using my head when I said that. What I lost in the past used to be things I didn't put in effort to obtain them. That's why I'm ok with losing it. Whereas for the file, Rachel put in 3 days of her life to write notes in it. I should've been more sensitive girl. =) I've learnt.

Well, enough of lessons, the next paragraph is dedicated to Rachel, my love.

Babe, what I said to you on the bus, I mean every single word of it. I won't make you wait too long.

I Love you.